Superficial Summer Madness

Superficial Summer Madness

A couple of years ago, when Allie and I lived together, we were trying to decide what we wanted to do one Friday night. Instead of going to a bar, or going to a movie, or even going to a friend’s – we decided to make a bracket of all of the best looking male celebrities and play March Madness.

It was probably the best night ever.

However, we understood that this activity was pretty embarrassing so we decided not to let other people know what we had spent the better part of 5 hours doing. Until one day, we did let it slip, and the person we told exclaimed that they wanted in next time. The more people the told, the more people wanted to partake. It looked like we were on to something.

As of today, sadly, Allie lives in Calgary and I live in Vancouver. But upon reminiscing about that night via text message today, we decided to redo our celebrity bracket this evening over Facebook. So if you’re wondering what I have spent the last 2.5 hours doing, that is the answer.

We weren’t amateurs this time, though. Last time we accidentally weeded out some of our favourites in the first round by putting them up against some heavy competition. Not this year. No way. This year we compiled a list of 146 celebrities, and then we seeded them into 5 categories. The way we described each ranking wasn’t really PG, so imagine it on a spectrum of 5 (HELL YES) to 1 (FUCK NO). Then, as one does in tournaments, we put the top-seeded celebrities against the lowest-seeded celebrities.

Our first round was, needless to say, pretty easy. Since we both have jobs and we need to sleep for those jobs, we decided to put off the second round until later. But I thought other people should got involved in this process, so I am also making this a public event. July Madness. Or, Almost August Madness. Or “Superficial Summer Madness.”

I don’t want to crowd up this website with every single round (that would be insane, since there were 73 pairings in the first round alone). I have created a Tumblr account for this very purpose:

Have fun.

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Author Description


Jocelyn is finishing up her undergraduate degree at UBC and is annoyed that she couldn't major in Pop Culture Studies.


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